Pulp, planets, plastic, pencils or penises

The little boy’s room, khazi, loo, bog, the list is endless. Whatever your appellation of choice for the humble toilet, we encounter them every day, both in public and in private. And although the terms we use can be varied and culturally diverse, to many the separation between the genders, and the signs used to distinguish them, may seem innocuous and necessary. However, where most are happy to bedeck their doors with the ubiquitous male and female pictograms, we here at Glorious see a chance to showcase our own design and creative flair. Not to mention the chance for a spot of friendly internal competition (with nary a stick man or woman in sight).

Design concepts showcased the very best of our own brand of ‘glorious thinking’: a stellar depiction of men are from Mars, women are from Venus; our Glorious pencil integrated into the universal gender symbols (although I’m still at a loss as to which is representative of each sex) and Jeff’s nailed on Barbie and Ken, which he seemed to take a rather peverse delight in. Debate was also ignited when it was suggested that the nicer of the two areas should be a dedicated client bathroom, leading to designs depicting the upper and working classes. Special mention has to go Mark Junior’s ingenious idea for a doorknob placed on the men’s, and a doorknocker onto the women’s. Political correctness, however, has us erring on the side of caution with regards to that design idea.

After much consternation and debate, we finally settled on a stylised depiction of the much lauded dance scene from Tarantino’s masterpiece ‘Pulp Fiction’. An almost life-sized John Travolta now adorns the men’s, with a gyrating Uma Thurman proudly displayed next door. Struggling to comprehend how we arrived at this decision? Allow me to explain…

We have a secret room here at Glorious. Its door is plain and unassuming, yet always firmly locked and strictly out of bounds to anyone not on the Glorious payroll. ‘What is in this room?’ you may well ask. I’m afraid that I’m not at liberty to divulge such confidential company secrets, but suffice to say that it is commonly referred to, albeit in hushed tones, as ‘the gimp room’. Not only should that explain why we don’t allow our clients to go rummaging about in there (not least due to health and safety concerns) but it also provides an insight into how one of our (most excellent) creative minds arrived at the idea of decorating our blank canvasses with two of Hollywood’s most notorious characters. In-jokes and humour abound here at Glorious, and now we have some of that exemplified in 768mm by 1,985mm form. Unfortunately, the desire to plaster the gimp room door with a similarly styled Bruce Willis, bound to a chair and complete with the infamous red ball gag, was seen as a little too ‘risqué’ for visiting clientele.

All that remains is for me to reveal the brilliantly creative mind behind the winning concept. Even though he is always humble and modest when it comes to receiving such accolades, kudos must go to Chris (or Christopher, as he now likes to be known) for his inspired thinking and creativity this time around. He may not be able to fill a 30mm x 20mm space on the washing up rota, but he can certainly design a toilet door or two.

I’ve also heard that he can pen a pretty good blog post…